Its funny how when I sometimes get annoyed at my kids for their behaviour they are generally copying something maybe that I have done in the past or have picked up from us genetically somehow.
Most traits that each of them show at different times can very distinctively be either from me or Jem. If they misbehave I generally say to Jem (semi jokingly) "They get that from you, ya know!" But ultimately I see a lot of attributions to the kids way of thinking and dealing with situations coming from me, sometimes filling me with pride, but other times not so much.
Its very easy to pass the buck and say that "My kids are perfect and they must have gotten that behaviour from somewhere else" When you are their main influence and most of the time they totally reflect how your feeling on any given day. I find if I'm stressed out, running late and in a hurry to do something with the kids, (which is most school mornings!) they pick up on that and are generally really ratty and irritated. On the other hand if I'm calm and take the time to give all equal attention and work through the issues patiently (not always possible in our mad house mind you) things seem to run so much smoother. Although its very hard to spread your limited time out amongst all four and their different age groups, although we find its well worth it if you can make that time to do so.
The fine line between 'having' to get things done with everyone on the same page, without them losing the plot and getting upset, is a balance I have yet to master as a father. The great thing with being around the kids as much as I am lucky enough to be, is that you get a lot of chances to practice and if you get it right, you instantly reap the rewards.
Looking in the mirror and identifying that the person looking back is sometimes the cause of tiffs and tantrums, is a lesson I find is worth trying to learn.
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